The bag is reminiscent of the Nerds box, but the candy inside is drastically different.  The Nerds flavor is present, taking the form of the bumpy, crunchy shell.  The inside reveals a jellybean candy of assorted flavors.  It is like having two candies in one!  Here are what the candies look like:

I am definitely a fan of this candy, and will likely purchase more in the future. 

What do you think?  Go out and buy some (if you haven’t already tried them) and let me know your opinion.

Twenty years ago today, the movie “Big Business” opened in theaters.  Being an identical twin and raised in a small town in West Virginia, this movie holds some special meaning to me.  I’m not proud of this fact, but that’s just the way it is.  But to celebrate this milestone, I am writing a quick review of the movie.

This farce stars Lily Tomlin and Bette Midler both playing dual roles of identical twins switched at birth.  The movie opens, inexplicably, to an overly-loud soundtrack playing “42nd Street”.  We see the limousine of a rich, snooty New York couple traveling in West Virginia to look at a beach house they are wanting to purchase.  Of course, West Virginia is landlocked and doesn’t have a beach, per se, but ignore that — there are bigger plot holes than that in this film, and if you try to analyze it rationally, your head will explode.

Anyway, while driving through the small town of Jupiter Hollow, the rich wife goes into labor, and has to have the baby at the local hospital.  At first, in a plot contrivance worthy of, well, many bad 80’s movies, the mother is initally denied treatment at the hospital.  For some reason, the owner of the local HollowMade furniture factory decides who is treated at the company hospital, so the rich New York guy buys the furniture company, allowing his wife to use the local hospital.  At about the same time, a poor local couple comes in to have their baby.  Well, as 80’s comedy fate would have it, both mothers give birth to identical twin girls.  But due to the confusing hijinx of the nurse, she mixes up the babies, and puts one New York girl and one West Virginia girl in each crib.  Why nobody thought to double-check this, I don’t know.  Still, if they had, there wouldn’t be a movie, so let’s not dwell on that.  The New York couple decides to name their daughters Rose and Sadie, and the West Virginia dad, overhearing this suggestion, decides to name his chillun’ Rose and Sadie, too.  I know what you are thinking.  “This sounds hilarious!  Is there more movie, or is that it?”  You are in luck.  There is much more to come.

Fast forward, oh…, 30 odd years into the future.  The New York couple are dead, but their daughters, Rose and Sadie Shelton are running their company, Moramax.  I don’t know if this was a dig at Miramax, or if it was some kind of attempt at a generic name for a big company (”More - a - Max”.  More…max…you get the idea…it’s a big company).  Well, Bette Midler plays Sadie, who is a ruthless, conniving corporate type — the very picture of her departed mother.  Lily Tomlin plays Rose, a flighty, simple-minded woman who isn’t comfortable in a board room and instead longs for a garden and a dog named Duke.  Get the idea here?  The premise of the movie is that “nature” completely trumps “nurture” when it comes to determining your personality.  Still, I think they take it a bit too far, as if New Yorkers have “evolved” a natural instinct for ruthlessness, while West Virginian’s are naturally drawn to…quilts, I guess.

Well, Sadie is planning for a big meeting with the shareholders of Moramax, and she has the perfect idea to make them all a bunch of money.  Apparently, Moramax has a small holding in Jupiter Hollow, West Virginina.  A little furniture store named HollowMade that makes porch swings and rocking chairs by hand.  Sadie wants to sell the furniture to an Italian developer so that he can strip mine the area.  For the unitiated, strip mining is a very ecologically destructive form of mining, and it is very unpopular in West Virginia.  Well, that isn’t exactly true.  It is an unpopular means of mining to the people of West Virginia, but it is VERY popular to some coal companies in West Virginia, ’cause it kinda happens a lot.  Rose is against this strategy, because she has an unnatural affinity to these idyllic, picturesque settings.  Still, Sadie’s the “in charge” twin, so what she says, goes.

Meanwhile, back in Jupiter Hollow, Rose Ratliff is organizing her union and other backwoods bumpkin buddies into rising up against the evil Moramax who want to get rid of their Hollowmade furniture company.  However, her sister Sadie isn’t much interested in saving this area, but instead longs for the bright lights of the big city.  This country mouse, city mouse crap carries on throughout the entire movie, and becomes increasingly annoying.  Rose is raising money to go to New York to confront the fiends at Moramax, and Sadie excitedly tags along.  In a useless plot point, Rose’s paramour Roone Dimmick is a champion putt-putt golfer who is counting on Rose to cheer him on at the mini-golf masters, but she neglects to tell him about her trip and instead exits the holler’ in the wee hours of the morning.

I’m going to skip the rest of the details of this movie.  In short, both sets of sisters end up in the Plaza hotel, and they keep almost running into each other but never quite pulling it off.  When they finally meet, they don’t even go into detail as to how the mix-up took place, but just quickly mention that the nurse “must” have got confused.  The girls take this extremely life-altering event in stride, and pretty much forget that it happened for the rest of the movie (admittedly, 10 minutes).  The ruthless Sadie Shelton is ganged up on by the two Roses and country Sadie, who lock her into a closet.  Country Sadie speaks to the investors and urges them not to get rid of the Hollowmade furniture company.  The investors get angry, but city Rose steps up and defends the decision, and inexplicably, the investors agree to lose money.  This plot point is ridiculous.  Even dumber, each of the sisters has a love interest, and they inexplicably end up with a twin they weren’t expecting.  For example, in a strange turn of events, Roone ends up with the city Rose instead of the country Rose, who ends up with Michael Gross from Family Ties.  I’m not making this up.  The girls each leave the Plaza hotel one at a time with their true loves, to the overpowering strains of “Higher Love” by Steve Winwood.

This isn’t a great movie, but I have to admit having a soft place in my heart for this movie.  I can’t defend it, and it is quite annoying, but I remember watching it in the theater as a kid, and it will always be one of those classic 80’s movies to me.  If you like “separated at birth” comedies, or “identical twins almost running into each other” comedies, give this movie a chance.  Sure, you’ll be disappointed, but you’ll get to see a young Seth Green, an old Mary Gross, a thin Edward Herrmann, and a (now dead) Roy Brocksmith, the character actor I will always remember as the creepy guy who threatened to lobotomize Arnold Schwarzenegger in Total Recall.  Have a blast!

Bimbo Bread?  Being immature, I had to laugh.  My mind started to reel, wondering at what sandwiches could possibly be made with Bimbo Bread.  I found their website (http://www.bimbobakeriesusa.com/bbu_brands/bimbo/) and it only made me more confused, with such statements as:

“Our commitment to offering products that are ‘always baked with love‘ is what has made us the international name for bread, buns and sweet bread.”

So Bimbo Bread is baked with love?  The mind boggles, overloading on the double-entendre possibilities.  The bread itself pictured on the side of the truck looks kind of weird to me.  The crust has this strange diagonal pattern that makes it look less like the edge of a sandwich and more like some wood grain on the side of a 2×4.

The mascot looks like Snuggle the fabric softener bear’s cousin, and has apparently trained at some culinary school and has earned a chef’s hat for his work.  Could he have made the sandwich pictured on the side of the truck?  If so, somebody should pull his license.  That sandwich looks gross.  Based on my view, it appears to be a ham sandwich, with cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, a jalapeno pepper, and a CARROT.  Perhaps my complete bias against all things carrot-related is swaying my judgment, but that just ruins the entire sandwich for me.

Their history (also from their website) is actually a little interesting.  Apparently, they were the first to bring packaged sliced bread to Mexico.  More surprisingly, they are the third largest bakery in the world.  Good on you, Bimbo!  Now, just change your name so that everyone can take you seriously!

Enough about my eccentricities!  Check out this meat from Britian!  It would have saved me loads of time, and would have kept my mother from wondering why the TV was so greasy when she went to clean it:

I weep for my childhood as I behold this perfection of pork parts, this beauty of British by-products, this symphony of succulent swine!  How do they get those colors so perfectly arranged in their meat?  Does this technology elude us in America?  Are we the superpower of the world in every area except in butchery?  How would my life be improved if I could have eaten this as a child?  Would I have grown up a happier person?  Cured cancer?  Alas, we will never know…

I do know that if I ever make it to the UK, I will be making a bee-line to the grocery store and sampling this treat for myself!  I owe it to my younger self.  I wonder how it will look on the television in the hotel room?

 However, I have to say that I hit the jackpot on a recent trip.  Check out this creepy TV tray.

How creepy is this thing?  I gotta tell you, I love stuff like this.  The weirder and creepier, the better.  And I find that the more you look at this thing, the creepier it gets.  Let’s look at this cast of characters (going clockwise starting at the top left).

OK, to be honest, there isn’t too much creepy about this guy.  Still, it is strange that there is such an odd menagerie of creatures all crammed into this picture.  In addition, this is one of only two animals in this picture who is not dressed in human clothing, possibly denoting that he is an actual animal as opposed to an anthropomorphic creature.  Is this bird there of his own accord, or is he owned by the bear sitting in the chair?  Who knows?

The bear is obviously the patriarch and central figure of this group.  He has the position of authority as the only beast sitting in furniture with his own food and drink.  He is wearing glasses, possibly to give him an appearance of wisdom.  He is staring off to the left, possibly at the bird perched on his chair.  But is he smiling, or growling?  I love over-analyzing crap like this, so bear with me.  If this isn’t your thing, then stop reading now, because it’s just going to get more ridiculous.

The wolf is likely another authority figure, denoted by the tie.  He has one of the creepier expressions of the figures depicted with his broad grin.  He is holding a glass of milk and appears to be indicating something about it, as he isn’t looking at anyone else in particular.  His almost feminine look may represent him as the maternal figure in this image.

The rabbit is one of the creepiest figures in the picture.  The look in his eyes is maniacal, almost menacing.  He is smiling about something, but he doesn’t look happy at all.  He is yet another authority figure as well, but he is placed next to the TV, as if he is in charge of it.  Is this possibly a joke about “rabbit ears” on the television?  Is he forced to stand in that position to ensure that the television gets good reception?

The clown on the television is what the eye is drawn to on the far right of the picture.  Now, I have always thought clowns are creepy (downright scary in some settings), and this clown is no exception.  Look at that smile!  He appears to only have one tooth on the bottom of his mouth.  His ears are much too large for his head.  And his eyes are staring right out of the picture and into your soul.  He knows your darkest fears, and it makes him laugh.

The dalmatian is the other animal in the picture that is not dressed as a human, possibly indicating that he is indeed an animal and not some strange fairy-tale half-human, half-beast hybrid.  He appears to be crouched in a defensive posture, as if he is barking at something.  Following his gaze, he is probably barking at the clown on the television (or possibly the rabbit standing next to the television).  Animals are often aware of danger that humans miss.  Does the clown pose a danger to this assembled gathering of creatures?  Of course he does.  And the dalmatian knows it.

The monkey is the only child-like figure in the picture, indicated by his clothing.  He is strangely hairless for a monkey, possibly emphasizing his position as the child of the group.  He is wearing a dopey expression of joy, and is no doubt very happy to be watching the clown on the television.  Strangely enough, he is the only figure in the picture who is watching the television (other than the dog of course).  Perhaps, like most young children, he is too young to fear the clown.  He is to naive to perceive of the threat and the terror that the clown represents.  But he will learn.  The clown will make sure he learns.

The tv tray…well, it isn’t really creepy.  However, I just love the thought of a tv tray being included in an image placed on a tv tray.

Well, that caps off my admittedly self-indulgent analysis of this creepy tv tray.  Do you know of any other creepy images similar to this?  If so, I’d love to see them.  Please comment on this blog and let me know about it!  Thanks for reading, and, as always…beware the clown.

Enjoy the ride while it lasts Archuleta.  The future is grim

Sure you may be a heartthrob now.  Just look at that adorable face: