When I was a youngster, I would often eat bologna sandwiches. Being a freak, sometimes I would bite pieces out of the bologna to try to make a face in the bologna (it is pretty tough to bite out two eye-holes and a mouth without tearing the bologna, believe you me). Sometimes, I would stick my masterpiece on the television so I could fully admire it on a backdrop of Sesame Street .
Enough about my eccentricities! Check out this meat from Britian! It would have saved me loads of time, and would have kept my mother from wondering why the TV was so greasy when she went to clean it:
I weep for my childhood as I behold this perfection of pork parts, this beauty of British by-products, this symphony of succulent swine! How do they get those colors so perfectly arranged in their meat? Does this technology elude us in America? Are we the superpower of the world in every area except in butchery? How would my life be improved if I could have eaten this as a child? Would I have grown up a happier person? Cured cancer? Alas, we will never know…
I do know that if I ever make it to the UK, I will be making a bee-line to the grocery store and sampling this treat for myself! I owe it to my younger self. I wonder how it will look on the television in the hotel room?
